Tapping out

Not gonna lie, I 100% wanted Danny to ride my new bike home from the shop. Don’t get me wrong, I was uber excited about getting my bike, I just had it in my head that this would be the best plan. After all, I’d not ridden a bike since my CBT in July 2014 and it was now April 2015.  As you can imagine, I had a mega dose of the heebies. We chatted about it loads and he said over and over that it would be best if I just bite the bullet and ride it back myself. He was totally right, tut.

Two weeks zoomed by and before I knew it, it was bank holiday and I was on the back of the Street Triple on the way to Hunts. If you’ve read my first CBT post you’ll know how nervous I get about things. It’s safe to say that nerves on this day were CBT x 1,000,000.

What if I bin it in the car park? What if I stall every time I stop? What if I just cry like a big girl?

All of these thoughts were whirring around my head. I had excitement in my belly and fear in my brain. Oh God.

When we got to the shop my little white mini beast was sitting there outside the shop ready to come home with us. Everything was so shiny and pretty badass and mean, it looked ace and I was already so pleased with it!

After admiring the bike for a bit, reality set back in and I wobbled into the shop and sat at the desk. I actually hoped the paperwork would take so long everyone else in the shop would push off home and not watch me ride away. Unlucky for me, everything was done and dusted in a few minutes and it was handover time. My wobbly legs carried me back out of the shop and we went through the basics of how to start, stop, switch on the lights etc. I hope I looked like I was listening because what I was really thinking about was the mega junction right outside the shop. Literally, a potential death risk in the first 6 seconds of leaving the shop. Oh God.

After not really listening for what seemed like forever the guy handed me the keys and the bike was officially mine. It was such a mix of emotions! Danny immediately set to making sure I was alright and felt ready to get cracking. I think he probably had more heebies than I did at this point. It was SO REAL and for the first time he could see how nervous I really was. He suggested I ride up and down the side street first which I did, in a fashion. I don’t think I made it past seven miles an hour. Plus it was a dead end and after u-turngate, I would stop at the end of the road and push myself with my feet (think a toddler on a balance bike) until I was pointing in the other direction. Oh the lols. This went on for a while but eventually, it was time for home.

Jesus wept i’ve never, ever, papped myself as much as I did in that moment.

We readied ourselves for the off but I couldn’t set off. I’m out, I thought. Danny knew it was now or never and tried everything he could to get me to go. I was completely on the verge of tapping out. I just kept saying “ok, i’m going” into my helmet and not actually going anywhere.  “Where do I need to get to again?”, I squeeked into my communicator* “Just those traffic lights there honey and then stop”. Poor Danny. Looking back, I’m almost 100% sure the guys in the shop had a tenner bet on what time i’d give the keys back.

Then, somehow and to the utter relief of Danny and probably the guys in the shop, I just shot off. I don’t think either of us knew how it was happening but it was. I’m almost 100% sure I rode through that junction with my eyes closed. But that doesn’t matter because I was doing it!

The whole ride home was no easy feat seeing as we live in the city centre but it’s safe to say by some miracle and with only a few hiccups to note, we made it! When we did arrive back we pulled into a side street and I was so happy and relieved and so full of adrenaline I clambered off and lay on the pavement for a little minute. Happily laying there, glad to be alive.

I’m usually a proper little giver-upper but that day I went from zero wheels to two and I smashed it.

*We use the Sena SMH5 communicators and they’re mega. Blog post to follow…

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